I’ve blogged on this before, yet I know it is not near enough.
I have been on a quest to find something rare during my time and stay in Franklin, TN this time: brokenness. Why search for it, you ask? You know how people say “Don’t pray for patience” or “Watch what you pray for”? Well, I really don’t care what other people say. I pray for brokenness in the same way as patience. It really ought to be something that exists on a daily basis. I need to keep it front and center.
Brokenness has been underrated since the beginning of the fall of mankind. My pride in doing things on my own stinks and humility is always where God wants me.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17
“Broken” Hebrew shabar (Strong’s: H7665) appears 793 times in the Old Testament and in this particular scripture verse, the verb is considered a passive tense verb, although I believe it is in a simple form that remains active in the English. It can be a past, present and future form of being (someone please correct me if I am wrong).
In it’s Nephal tense it means:
1. to be broken, be maimed, be crippled, be wrecked
2. to be broken, to be crushed (figuratively)
My mind instantly goes to Jacob (Genesis 32:22-32); to the place where he wrestled with the Angel of the Lord (a Christophony). Jacob wouldn’t stop wrestling with God until He knew he had His blessing. The manifestation of God pulls Jacob’s hip out of socket and gives him a new name, Israel, so that he would remember that He saw God face to face, and that his life was delivered by Him. And then He blessed him.
Oh, how many times I know I wrestle with God and ask Him to bless my life at the same time. I too, have seen His goodness, “face to face”, in His word and in observing His active deliverance in my own life. I bear the scars of my rebellion and wrestling with Him. Yet, in His mercy and grace He has allowed me to persevere. And it is His hope that I have, evidenced by His Holy Spirit in me, that His love is poured out in my heart (Romans 5:3-5). It is His finished work at the cross that I have accepted in my life. This is my blessing: that Jesus has delivered me and I will live forever with Him. I am sealed for the day of redemption. He has not left or forsaken me, even though I feel alone many times. Brokenness hurts, but it doesn’t mean I am without hope. Brokenness is a sign of strength and humility. It is a sign that God is at work in me.
I want to remain broken, so I remain in Him. And one day, like Jacob, I will joyfully receive a new name and see the promise of His blessing.
Yes, it is very good to be broken; to have my life utterly wrecked, so that I do not rely on my own strength to do things. He will be the One that delivers me every time (past, present and future) from my self…so that I will remember what He has done for me. So that I will remember what I have overcome.
He builds my character. Refines me. And He is making me ready to see Him one day, when I am welcomed home.
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