No Longer Opposed Blog

on

(continued from “A Yielded Life-Part I“)…

Well, then I got out of bed… It really was a blessing of a day to get to record the vocals on my first EP. Matt was really gracious with me. But it also happened to be one of the hottest days for the Puget Sound area and even hotter in Matt’s Garaffice! It was upper 90’s in there. Between songs, Matt would turn on the air-conditioning to pump cool air into the studio, but then that dried out my voice more. I was definitely feeling like a fish downing the water!

My husband wanted me to take our “Mr. Burban” (fondly nicknamed by our son when he was a toddler because he couldn’t say Suburban… we joke about it and people wonder why we talk about hard liquor when we are going places). The Honda had been recently having some problems and Craig was pretty sure it would not make the trip. The suburban was much more reliable for what I needed this day, so I lugged the beast down there with the back of it loaded up with a case of water (little did I know that the case of water was going to be for more than drinking).

As I was leaving Matt’s house after finishing the recording, I stopped to fuel up at a local gas station. A gentleman who had just finished fueling stopped me and asked me how much I wanted for my suburban…point blank! I was dumbfounded…”uhh, uhhhh… I don’t know if it’s for sale…you’d have to talk to my husband.” He said okay and asked for my husband’s number. It was quite comical to watch this stranger call my husband and ask Craig to name his price for Mr. Burban as this guy knew it was hard to find this model of suburban in such great condition with no problems. Ha! Little did any of us know (are you curious yet?)! Well, needless to say, Craig wasn’t sure he was ready to sell it yet… shoot, it was still a baby at 15 years old (I’m joking)! So the guy left his contact info with us in case we changed our minds.

I started the long drive home through rush hour traffic and then as I got on to our Olympic Peninsula for the last 45 minute stretch…Mr. Burban wasn’t quite so peppy or happy anymore (dang, should have sold it while I had the chance). That red engine light came on after I got up the first hill and then that farenheit thingy on the dashboard went way over into the red…hmmm… I thought this might be a good idea to pull over. Fortunately, I was right at the turn-off to Port Townsend by a park and ride and was able to pull in to the side of the parking lot and look inconspicuous, while I figured out what on earth was going on with the Suburban. Surely, God, you knew it was a long day for me and that I was trying to get home in time for Craig and I to celebrate our anniversary…right? Inconspicuous? Nope… could this possibly have anything to do with yielding?…

(to be continued…)

 

on

Meriam Webster defines “yielded” as: to reward, render as fitting, to give up a claim or possession on, to surrender, to cultivate, etc. (see: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/yield)

Here are the many definitions of it in the Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek (basically it means the same thing): http://biblez.com/searchstrongs.php?q=Yield

Be sure to read up on these though, because this will be a longer blog series that I want to share with you. This first part will reflect a portion of a testimony and story that I am writing in a book that I hope will be another important part of my ministry here at Jen Haugland Music.

As I went about a particular day in my week (last week), I think I may have experienced most of these different meanings of the word. I certainly yielded to my early morning schedule. I had to drop off my son with his sister early in Seattle,  so I could get to the recording studio in time to lay down vocal tracks for my new EP starting at 10. That meant I had to leave the house by 5:15 to catch an early enough ferry (which I missed by the 4th car) and know my route to my daughter’s house (which I overshot by going a back way from downtown Seattle and ended up in a very wrong neighborhood of W. Seattle and consequently was late to my recording time).

But the morning had started off so good as I laid in bed, slowly waking up, reflecting in my mind these songs that I would be recording that day. They were worship songs and meditating on them, word by word, gave me solitude with my Heavenly Father.  I prayed that He would be glorified in every song that I sang so that the listener on the receiving end of this upcoming EP project would hear whatever message God would have for them.

Then I turned over and looked at my husband of 25 years next to me still sleeping and remembered whom I yielded my life to in marriage, twice! I thought about my God of second, third, fourth (etc.) chances. This day was our 12th wedding anniversary of when Craig and I re-married each other after being divorced for 6 months (and married for 13 years previous to each other). On August 16, 2000, I chose to be brave that day, when I was so scared. I had thought about running away, even at that last moment before walking into that courtroom to go before the Justice of the Peace. My step-mom, whom I had just confessed my fears to, who was by my side said, “I am so proud of you honey, you are so brave” and she held my hand. I never forgot her words.

As I stood outside of that courtroom I thought about that word “brave”.  I had no guarantee that life would be easier, or different from the previous 13 years that we struggled through, but then I heard a still small voice in my ear reminding me, that if I would yield, I had a guarantee that He would be with me every step of the way and carry me when I needed Him too.  I yielded my life to Christ and remembered how much He yielded His life to me and also to my husband who very much needed the same forgiveness that I needed.

Apparently there is something to being brave…

Yes, I trusted my God that day, I chose to be brave and yield to Him and His will in my life (as did Craig), and our God has been faithful… these last 12 years have been the best ever and we count even the 13 before as a blessing as well. Yielding has produced much fruit in our lives. We stood against the forces of darkness that day that longed to destroy us and our little family. We stood against the societal norms of our times and the ‘lie of divorce’ as we stood inside that little room and we confessed to love one another forever with the love that Christ had shown us.

That day, we were surrounded by our small cloud of witnesses here on earth: our 3 beautiful children: Jessica, Rachel & Nathanael, Craig’s dad and mom and my dad and step-mom. I know our Heavenly Father, our Savior, the Spirit and a cloud of witnesses in the heavens were also rejoicing! It is a day we all highly treasure as a family. It changed our hearts, it strengthened our faith and it gave a solid foundation and future to our children who now understand a deeper meaning of what and who love is in their own lives.  It has changed our lives forever in so many ways and we are so thankful for the cross!WeddingDay08162000-1

(to be continued, A Yielded Life-Part II)…

on

“For the wisdom of this world isSunset Travel foolishness in God’s sight.”1 Corinthians 3:19

The other day, I had to attend a professional ethics workshop to stay current on my license as a Mental Health Counselor. I was trying to think positive about attending it, knowing it would not be a class from a Christian world view, but quite possibly I would learn something new. Well, I was quite disappointed. What I did learn is that I truly felt like a foreigner in a secular training. I had to listen to sneers and chuckles when therapists reported that “Christians say people will go to Hell if…” (wish believers were careful with their words, it sure makes a bad name for those of us who are trying hard to be salt and light).

Then we had exercises on situational ethics and examples in which we had to answer, “What if’s” based on our personal values and then, how we would handle that if we were the therapist. On the abortion situation, I was one of 3 therapists out of a room of 25 that held up their hands as being pro-life (because she asked us to). I was definitely starting to get the feeling that we were being singled out. Then, ironically (but of course known to God), I sat next to a therapist whom I had to partner with to discuss an ethics issue that each of us were currently dealing with. She was dealing with a father in session who was “extremely religious” and trying to impose his desires of having her counsel his daughter in biblical standards. She believed that this was going beyond her scope of practice. I suggested to her if she had considered finding a Christian Therapist and referring. She had not, in fact she just couldn’t understand how there could even be “Christian Counselors” and how they could remain neutral in therapy sessions. I smiled politely at her and stated, well, actually, I myself am a Christian Therapist, and this is how I am able to work with my clients from a Christ-centered perspective…” I am sure I surprised her quite a bit. In fact, I must have surprised her so much, she avoided me the rest of the workshop.

Sexual misconduct by therapists with their patients and supervisors with their supervisees is still an ongoing problem in the field of clinical practice and the majority of the training seemed to focus in on this, but instead of using real-life case samples, we got to watch movie snippets for how Hollywood interprets therapy (which for the most part is poorly, by the way). And for a final exercise in this area of concern, I learned that the wisdom of the trainer I had was truly foolishness. First, she let us know that we did not have to do the exercise if we didn’t want to, but that she would explain it after we did it. That was my big red flag. We were instructed to physically write out a plan for how we would sexually seduce a client in our office. Seriously, I was appalled. I refused the assignment. We were later told that by doing the assignment we would then be better able to detect in ourselves when we might be starting to slip into this plan and to be sure to avoid it. Hmmm. Seems to me there could have been a much better way to teach this.

Scripture tells us that we are to guard our thoughts and to flee from sexual immorality. “After desire has been conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown gives birth to death.” James 1:15 How about we just don’t go there? We flee! Why entertain the thought, even yet, why put a plan in writing…can you see what the next step would be? We are living in dangerous times for sure.  When a trainer on ethics decides that this kind of an exercise would help us in physical restraint, we are mislead as professionals. For the only one who restrains is the indwelling Spirit of God in the hearts of the believers. We MUST exercise restraint by allowing the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And we should practice fleeing from sin and sinful desires, being willing to hold every though captive to the obedience of Christ.

I realized after this training, that indeed, I am in the world, but not of this world. And yes, my evaluation of the training that I turned in had a lot of writing on it!

 

on

GA FlowerI am here in Peachtree City, GA right now, visiting my 90 year-old grandmother and almost 89 year-old grandfather. I have fondly called them MeMe and PaPa since I was little. My grandmother recently broke her upper left leg around a repaired hip break last year and I came to bring some good cheer and let her know how much I love her; as well I came to be a helping hand with the family.  As I saw her in the rehab facility Friday night, I was reminded how frail life had become again for her. She has lived a long life and seen so much.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

The initial shock of seeing MeMe suffering physically and emotionally is freshly etched in my mind and is unsettling in my heart as a grand-daughter and as a mental health counselor. I want to take her pain away and I want to be able to tell her she can come home and be with her family. But I can’t. She needs the time to heal. She wept and I wept with her. There is a time to mourn and grieve the loss of independence, the pain of being alone in a care facility and there is a time to love and to embrace as I lay next to her in the bed yesterday afternoon snuggling with her as she took a nap. I’m not ready for the time to die yet.

I suppose God will prepare me for that season, in its time, and as well for my grandma. In the meantime, there is a time for everything…don’t let these moments of here and now slip you by. Life is too short. When we have opportunities to grieve, it is important to experience them right when they are happening so that it is not stuffed down inside ourselves or prolonged. It will help us in the long run when those final moments come and death takes our loved ones. Our grief is only temporary in the grand scheme of life. Death has been overcome. And when you have time to tell stories of yesteryear – LAUGH – even if it makes you cry! I think I will be on a bit of a roller coaster with my emotions while I am here, but I am okay with that…this is life …and my time for everything with my MeMe and PaPa.

I thank You God for these precious moments in time and to be a participant in them!

on

God’s timing is perfect for this blog: Just the other day a friend posted on his FB a need for prayer for a young man who was suicidal. Fortunately the young man knew that this friend and their home was a safe haven. This young man is reaching out and grasping at any ounce of hope that he can find and he chose this friend who happens to be a mature Christian.

“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” Proverbs 20:14, NIV

Like the young man who is struggling with suicide, his heart is full of deep waters at this time. My friend is the man of understanding. Would you please pray along with me during this urgent time that my friend will have the wisdom and discernment to be that man of understanding that can draw out these deep waters in this other young man’s heart and bring the hope of Christ to him during these dark moments?

We all have deep waters and it takes a special heart that can draw them out. Do you have someone that draws out your deep waters? Are you the one of understanding? This is the wise counselor. You are needed so much, look for those you can draw out. There is a light that shines in us as believers that brings hope to others when they see us. But they are seeing more than us because we reflect the radiance of Christ. It is His reflection back at them that tells them there is hope. You are that messenger of that Good News.

YouCanDoIt

on

about-1-week-oldThey are the most precious inheritance we leave here on this earth in every generation. Do we really understand the depth of our investment and accountability in them in regards to their overall mental health and well being? When I worked for a non-profit as a mental health consultant for early childhood, I understood this to a deeper level than what I ever believed before. We need to invest in our babies from the very beginning and we need to guard them throughout their childhood stubbornly and fiercely. If we do not teach our children to love and fear the Lord in this lifetime, then we have failed in the job that God gave us for such a time as this. And if we allow any harm to come to them when we have every opportunity to protect them, woe to us. This is our time as Dad and Mom’s and Leaders. Never exploit the children, but teach them in the way they should go.

While these commands were given to the children of Israel and are still relevant, they are also relevant to those that have been grafted in: the church.

“Here O Israel: The Lord our God , the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on  your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down  and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NIV

and then Jesus refers to little ones in the faith or children:

“Jesus said to his disciples: ‘things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves.'”… Luke 17:1-3 NIV

The reason why these verses are so important is that is it shows how careful we need to be with those who are young and vulnerable who trust us as adults. Being an adult survivor of child abuse, I know the impact of it and how it can cause so much destruction in so many ways long into adulthood. As adults, we have a choice to stop generational sins and we can protect the threats of harm to little ones by not breaking their spirit and exasperating them. We can guard their mental health and their well-being, especially spiritually, by loving them well and honoring their preciousness before the Lord and letting them remain children. Crushing their spirit, allowing harm to them, contributing to their growing up before their time, can put them into harmful situations whether we intend it or not. Taking out our anger on them can damage them physically, emotionally and spiritually and set them up for later mental health issues as well as rebelliousness against us as parents and ultimately against God whom we are commanded to teach them how to love. This harm can unknowingly be done even with our best intentions as parents or leaders by putting them out there in the ‘limelight’ or giving them too much responsibility before they are ready or mature enough to handle it – we are always accountable. As adults we are too familiar with and know that harm comes, even unintentionally. What will be do to guard them so that doesn’t happen? Where is that fine line of letting them learn and protecting them?

It is truly important to love and obey God as an adult and to pass this on to your children in a LOVING way! How will you take responsibility of this in the life of your child? Or better yet, if you were a child that was embittered and harmed, how will you allow the spirit of God to re-parent you to learn to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind? If you let Him do it, it can happen and you will experience great freedom! Your next generation will live a freedom like you will have never imagined, but will yet to live yourself! Go for it!

on

I have been on the road the past two weeks and it’s been tough to find the time for a blog.

Right now my daughter’s mother-in-law and I have been trading off  driving about every 3 hours. We went to my daughter Rachel’s graduation from Purdue University at IUPUI in Mechanical Engineering.

We are moving her and her husband back to the Seattle area so she can start her new job. Anyway, as Jane, her mother-in-law, and I trek cross-country, I am reminded of past road trips to visit family and moving around with my husband’s career. America is big and the land is vast and diverse with its people. But it’s also a reminder of a how much bigger world we live in beyond this nation. Then conversely, I start to think about how really small this planet earth is within a huge universe and then my perspective changes to  how small we truly are and how very big God really is. That is reality.

That our big God cared to give us such a unique terrain to live on and with everything we need to survive on it amazes me. He also made people so unique with their different cultures, traditions, etc. What I love about God is that He believes that each and every one of us is so important that He gave us a free-will and opportunity to explore and find Him while here on this planet. People matter to God and they should matter to us.  Every time I look at another human being, I remind myself, this is a child of God, regardless of whether they love or serve Him.  Each one of us comes with our own stories: troubles and joys. And these stories that we are made of is what makes us unique. And yet we are significant to Him in all our ways, “what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you should care for him?” (Psalm 8:4, ESV)

Keeping a right perspective helps keep us humble and from thinking we are bigger than we are. No, we are very small, but we are very important to the God who created us. A narrowed focus can keep us stuck; thinking beyond ourselves reminds us there is more to life than just us here on this earth. When we can reach past ourselves to others around us, it pulls us out of our inward focus to do something good for someone else, to learn their story, to learn to appreciate and love them right where they are at. All of the sudden, our problems seem smaller.Travel Crazy Horse

on

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

I never used to like being weak. To me, being weak always meant you couldn’t take care of yourself. It meant you had to admit you needed help. To be strong meant competency and reliability. But there is a sense of competency that comes as a believer, when you practice your reliability on the One that can provide for every need that you have. As I have been through so many life lessons and matured more in my faith, I have begun to understand that weakness is for my benefit. When I am weak it causes me to seek out my God, a rock and a refuge, who holds me up with His mighty right hand and protects me under His wing. When I am weary I can rest and trust in Him.

God was more concerned with Paul’s integrity and that he didn’t brag about his own knowledge, but that he would brag all the more about his weaknesses and frailty, his sufferings, so that Christ could be known through Paul’s weaknesses. And that is exactly where He wants me to be, too. The areas in my life where I have been weak and will still be weak; the hardships that I suffer, or insults for what I believe in, those are the areas in my life that God wants to glorify Himself through for others to see.

What a comforting thought: behind every suffering, every weakness, every difficulty, is an opportunity for you to shine for Christ. Paul even said he delights in these… that may seem a bit tough to swallow, but as I start to see the big picture in this and in my own life, I tend to not hold onto the grumbling so much anymore when these trials come. Instead, I am learning to embrace them (mind you they are not delightful yet, but one day…); I am catching glimpses of this power being made perfect in me through these times of weaknesses. Such a testimony we can be, one to another. Allow your weaknesses and watch His grace work mightily in you!

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.”rainbowfarm

 

 

 

 

 

on

I think standing is underrated and definitely taken for granted. I probably wouldn’t have said this if I weren’t having such difficulty with joint pain lately in my hips. After a few days of this pain I would rather sit, or complain and cry. I think of those who wish they even had two feet or or two legs to even stand on. I’ve got it good. Really. Makes my pain seem so minor in perspective.

There are a lot of verses I can think of to support standing. Not necessarily just a physical standing position. What I like about it though is that whether I am seated or standing, I can still stand no matter what my situation. The key is, to not ever stand against myself. “A house divided against itself can’t stand.” (Mark 3:25) “Stand” or the Greek word ‘histemi’ literally or figuratively can mean to abide, appoint, bring, continue, covenant, establish, hold up, lay, present, set (up), stand (by, forth, still, up). It is an upright and active position (not passive or lying down). A house in this scripture can mean literally a house or even a family. How many families do you know have been torn apart if they have been divided one member against the other?

So, how do you keep from being a house divided? How do you personally keep yourself true to your doctrine that you follow in life so that it matches up with the word of God? Because the moment you step away from what you know to be true in God’s word and start following another path is the moment you begin to be divided against yourself and I promise you, you will not be able to stand, and you will suffer greatly the natural consequences.

Further, in Mark 3:27 Jesus says that no one can enter a strong man’s house and take everything he has unless he first binds the strong man. In this particular passage Christ has been talking about Satan as the Pharisees were accusing Jesus of being possessed of Beelzebul. Jesus is teaching them that no one can enter a house and steal whatever they want unless the person watching guard is some how tied up. Jesus knows it is Satan who binds the strong man and robs him of what he has. Have you allowed Satan to have a foothold and bind you or a member of your family, a spouse, a child, to destroy you or the family unit? If you were alert and watching over the affairs of your home all the time, you would be ready for a thief. But Satan is a liar and a deceiver of the light, so his deception will be very subtle. You will barely recognize it.

The way to “do battle” is to take an alert posture and be active to stand along with putting on the full armor of God. Ephesians 6:10-18, ESV reminds us:

1. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil.

2. It is not flesh and blood that we wrestle against, but against rulers, authorities and against cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

3. Take up the full armor so you may be able to withstand (stand against or stand opposed) in the evil day.

4. And after having done all, to stand firm. (Go to this scripture right now and remind yourself of all the armor you will need to stand).

STAND, STAND STAND – don’t let the enemy of your soul have his way in your life or in the life of the ones you love! You don’t have to fight the battle… You have to stand! God says the battle is His, not ours and He has already won the battle for us!

Divine-InspirationComic by Willem Samuel