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There is an amazing strength that comes from within when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt whose you are: that you were created for a purpose and how much you are deeply loved.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3, ESV

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16, NIV

No lie from the Enemy can steal that truth away. You have to see it and really believe it, no matter what life seems to present you with. We may bend with the wind, but we won’t break.Bend in the Wind

It is the One who has carried you through every high gale and storm; He is the One who sings over you joyfully and holds you tenderly in the palm of His hand. The God from everlasting to everlasting!

Don’t you know, you are a child of God?

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs – heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” Romans 8:16-17, ESV

and 

“Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” John 1:12, NIV

This is our positional and eternal truth! It is hard to be shaken from that reality once you get it!

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Failure. Who wants to fail? None of us. But the truth of the matter is, we live in a fallen world and we have a sinful nature that wars against us. There is also an Enemy agent at work against us. As humans we are fragile. We are bound to fail. I fail, you fail, we fail each other. But our God NEVER fails us. “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abPoppiesounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103: 8-12, ESV

From everlasting to everlasting… He is God!

When you FEEL like you have failed, when you KNOW you have failed, remember this: “But this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in Him.'” Lamentations 3: 21-24, ESV

Do you cling to Him as Your portion? Then NEVER GIVE UP…NEVER!!!

A prayer of hope: We are so thankful, Lord, that even though we fail You and others, even ourselves, You never fail us. Everything you have said about yourself in Your word is true. You have given us Your gracious Holy Spirit, through our Savior, as a deposit on our hearts to mark us for the day of redemption. We wait for that with eager expectation and in the meantime, we pray that the acknowledgement of our failures and humility that comes from them, continues to reflect Your radiant glory in all Your goodness. Yes, Lord, Your mercies are new every morning! Amen

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Yesterday, I wept for Boston.

I did a 12k once and completed 3 triathlons. But I have never run a marathon.

As I heard the news and watched the horror that those in Boston had experienced 2 hours earlier, my heart grieved and I covered my eyes to what I was seeing. My ears heard the screams of innocent people stunned in the aftermath and fear. I cried out, “Why, God?”

Evil has touched our nation once again.

But evil has not triumphed. It lost a long time ago. It rears its ugly head only temporarily to remind us that our lives are precious and not to be taken for granted. It reminds us that people, strangers, healthcare volunteers, law enforcement and others, respond in acts of kindness beyond themselves. We were made for relationship. And we respond in compassion to those in need.

Yesterday, I grieved with all those around the world that were connected to this horrific tragedy and loss of life and limb there in Boston.

This morning I was reminded of God’s faithfulness. That darkness is never dark to Him. That I live, move and breathe in Him. My very existence is held in the palm of His hand and all my days here on this earth are numbered. I will never understand on this side of Heaven why some lives are taken, by what seems to me to be, too early. Why evil has to persist long. I will never understand the full extent why we humans have to go through painful experiences in our life: many times by things that are beyond our control.

As I reflected on those who lost so much yesterday, I was reminded of what God has given me. I used the legs that carry me and I moved them. I hugged my son with my arms. I kissed the lips of my spouse who is my best friend. I used my hands to pray and play the songs that I write as a songwriter on my piano. I listened to sounds of the birds chirping from the nearby tree. I looked with my eyes at the creation and at the beauty of a frail humanity that needs a Savior. There are some who never see, never hear, never walk, can’t hug. But I can. I take it for granted.

To all those who have suffered; to all those who didn’t get to cross their finish line yesterday in Boston; to those who were so excited to watch their family, neighbors and friends run such a historic and prestigious race yesterday and then left this earth so abruptly:

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells, God is within her, she will not fail, God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts, The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah” Psalm 47:4-7

There is a finish line with a prize greater than anything this earth can offer. Be still and know that He is God. He is the One that can bring you your comfort when there are no answers. He has swallowed up death in victory. Evil’s power lost it’s grip when the perfect sacrifice laid down His life for all and brought it back up again. Those of us who remain, we are ALIVE. There is hope in a fallen world. There is One who knows our suffering: Christ Jesus.

This morning I didn’t want to run.Running

But this morning I was compelled to run.

I laced up my running shoes and put on my mismatched running gear.

Because others can’t and I can…

 

Today, I ran for Boston.

 

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Peace-2013You know those emails you get with the please forward to 10 people and email it back to the person that sent it to you? I don’t like forwarding or replying to them, but sometimes I read them and think, oh that’s nice, or… I don’t believe that… But this morning I read one and I really liked some thoughts in it, so I thought I would share it:

“If God brings you to it, He will bring you
through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.”

I have been through every one of these moments this past year. No matter what happens in life, especially things you can’t change or understand why they are happening, I choose to believe God is at the center of my leaning into Him for my everything to get through these trials. It’s not the praise of man that I seek or worry about. It is the adoration of my Savior that I want to keep front and center. If my life does not reflect that example, then I have failed to show you the best reason of why I live and why He lives for you and me.

Sometimes change requires quietly and boldly moving in new directions. Our paths may intersect from time to time, run parallel or even go in opposite directions, but know that as a friend or family member, you are a gift from God and I love you! Just a little reflection time this morning and wanting to wish you the very best in 2013! Maranatha!

Love,
Jen

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In my Advent readings today I was reminded of Simeon in Luke 2:25-32 and a most precious painting I dearly love and wish I owned a copy of by Ron Dicianni of Simeon’s Moment which was inspired by this scripture:

simeons-moment
Simeon’s Moment by Ron DIcianni

“Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. And he came in the Spirit into the temple, and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the Law, he took him up in his arms and blessed God and said, “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.”

After He was circumcised on the 8th day according to Jewish custom, He was given the name I?sous (what we call “Jesus”) which is of Hebrew origin of the name “Joshua” meaning “Jehovah is salvation.” This was the name that the Angel Gabriel had told the virgin Mary to give to the baby that she was about to conceive. Don’t you just love the intentionality of a name? Jesus is salvation!

I imagine how overjoyed Simeon was as he held the Savior of the world! I really love this print so much because of the expression on his face as he held the precious babe, Jesus, knowing what he knew and the imprint of the world in the background. It brings this scripture alive for me and brings me joy and hope! Jesus came for all of us and Simeon knew it! We too can have that same joy as we come to fully understand the price He paid for us. He had to come to earth as fully God and yet fully man to make it real for us and show us a way back to Himself. He knows we need real life examples to follow. And once we believe by faith, He places His Holy Spirit in us guaranteeing what is yet to come!

He has allowed us to see Him as He came to earth in human form and through this wisdom which has now been revealed to all mankind. Will you accept this redemption in your life? The Savior of the world is calling your name…

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(continued from “A Yielded Life-Part I“)…

Well, then I got out of bed… It really was a blessing of a day to get to record the vocals on my first EP. Matt was really gracious with me. But it also happened to be one of the hottest days for the Puget Sound area and even hotter in Matt’s Garaffice! It was upper 90’s in there. Between songs, Matt would turn on the air-conditioning to pump cool air into the studio, but then that dried out my voice more. I was definitely feeling like a fish downing the water!

My husband wanted me to take our “Mr. Burban” (fondly nicknamed by our son when he was a toddler because he couldn’t say Suburban… we joke about it and people wonder why we talk about hard liquor when we are going places). The Honda had been recently having some problems and Craig was pretty sure it would not make the trip. The suburban was much more reliable for what I needed this day, so I lugged the beast down there with the back of it loaded up with a case of water (little did I know that the case of water was going to be for more than drinking).

As I was leaving Matt’s house after finishing the recording, I stopped to fuel up at a local gas station. A gentleman who had just finished fueling stopped me and asked me how much I wanted for my suburban…point blank! I was dumbfounded…”uhh, uhhhh… I don’t know if it’s for sale…you’d have to talk to my husband.” He said okay and asked for my husband’s number. It was quite comical to watch this stranger call my husband and ask Craig to name his price for Mr. Burban as this guy knew it was hard to find this model of suburban in such great condition with no problems. Ha! Little did any of us know (are you curious yet?)! Well, needless to say, Craig wasn’t sure he was ready to sell it yet… shoot, it was still a baby at 15 years old (I’m joking)! So the guy left his contact info with us in case we changed our minds.

I started the long drive home through rush hour traffic and then as I got on to our Olympic Peninsula for the last 45 minute stretch…Mr. Burban wasn’t quite so peppy or happy anymore (dang, should have sold it while I had the chance). That red engine light came on after I got up the first hill and then that farenheit thingy on the dashboard went way over into the red…hmmm… I thought this might be a good idea to pull over. Fortunately, I was right at the turn-off to Port Townsend by a park and ride and was able to pull in to the side of the parking lot and look inconspicuous, while I figured out what on earth was going on with the Suburban. Surely, God, you knew it was a long day for me and that I was trying to get home in time for Craig and I to celebrate our anniversary…right? Inconspicuous? Nope… could this possibly have anything to do with yielding?…

(to be continued…)

 

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Meriam Webster defines “yielded” as: to reward, render as fitting, to give up a claim or possession on, to surrender, to cultivate, etc. (see: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/yield)

Here are the many definitions of it in the Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek (basically it means the same thing): http://biblez.com/searchstrongs.php?q=Yield

Be sure to read up on these though, because this will be a longer blog series that I want to share with you. This first part will reflect a portion of a testimony and story that I am writing in a book that I hope will be another important part of my ministry here at Jen Haugland Music.

As I went about a particular day in my week (last week), I think I may have experienced most of these different meanings of the word. I certainly yielded to my early morning schedule. I had to drop off my son with his sister early in Seattle,  so I could get to the recording studio in time to lay down vocal tracks for my new EP starting at 10. That meant I had to leave the house by 5:15 to catch an early enough ferry (which I missed by the 4th car) and know my route to my daughter’s house (which I overshot by going a back way from downtown Seattle and ended up in a very wrong neighborhood of W. Seattle and consequently was late to my recording time).

But the morning had started off so good as I laid in bed, slowly waking up, reflecting in my mind these songs that I would be recording that day. They were worship songs and meditating on them, word by word, gave me solitude with my Heavenly Father.  I prayed that He would be glorified in every song that I sang so that the listener on the receiving end of this upcoming EP project would hear whatever message God would have for them.

Then I turned over and looked at my husband of 25 years next to me still sleeping and remembered whom I yielded my life to in marriage, twice! I thought about my God of second, third, fourth (etc.) chances. This day was our 12th wedding anniversary of when Craig and I re-married each other after being divorced for 6 months (and married for 13 years previous to each other). On August 16, 2000, I chose to be brave that day, when I was so scared. I had thought about running away, even at that last moment before walking into that courtroom to go before the Justice of the Peace. My step-mom, whom I had just confessed my fears to, who was by my side said, “I am so proud of you honey, you are so brave” and she held my hand. I never forgot her words.

As I stood outside of that courtroom I thought about that word “brave”.  I had no guarantee that life would be easier, or different from the previous 13 years that we struggled through, but then I heard a still small voice in my ear reminding me, that if I would yield, I had a guarantee that He would be with me every step of the way and carry me when I needed Him too.  I yielded my life to Christ and remembered how much He yielded His life to me and also to my husband who very much needed the same forgiveness that I needed.

Apparently there is something to being brave…

Yes, I trusted my God that day, I chose to be brave and yield to Him and His will in my life (as did Craig), and our God has been faithful… these last 12 years have been the best ever and we count even the 13 before as a blessing as well. Yielding has produced much fruit in our lives. We stood against the forces of darkness that day that longed to destroy us and our little family. We stood against the societal norms of our times and the ‘lie of divorce’ as we stood inside that little room and we confessed to love one another forever with the love that Christ had shown us.

That day, we were surrounded by our small cloud of witnesses here on earth: our 3 beautiful children: Jessica, Rachel & Nathanael, Craig’s dad and mom and my dad and step-mom. I know our Heavenly Father, our Savior, the Spirit and a cloud of witnesses in the heavens were also rejoicing! It is a day we all highly treasure as a family. It changed our hearts, it strengthened our faith and it gave a solid foundation and future to our children who now understand a deeper meaning of what and who love is in their own lives.  It has changed our lives forever in so many ways and we are so thankful for the cross!WeddingDay08162000-1

(to be continued, A Yielded Life-Part II)…

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“For the wisdom of this world isSunset Travel foolishness in God’s sight.”1 Corinthians 3:19

The other day, I had to attend a professional ethics workshop to stay current on my license as a Mental Health Counselor. I was trying to think positive about attending it, knowing it would not be a class from a Christian world view, but quite possibly I would learn something new. Well, I was quite disappointed. What I did learn is that I truly felt like a foreigner in a secular training. I had to listen to sneers and chuckles when therapists reported that “Christians say people will go to Hell if…” (wish believers were careful with their words, it sure makes a bad name for those of us who are trying hard to be salt and light).

Then we had exercises on situational ethics and examples in which we had to answer, “What if’s” based on our personal values and then, how we would handle that if we were the therapist. On the abortion situation, I was one of 3 therapists out of a room of 25 that held up their hands as being pro-life (because she asked us to). I was definitely starting to get the feeling that we were being singled out. Then, ironically (but of course known to God), I sat next to a therapist whom I had to partner with to discuss an ethics issue that each of us were currently dealing with. She was dealing with a father in session who was “extremely religious” and trying to impose his desires of having her counsel his daughter in biblical standards. She believed that this was going beyond her scope of practice. I suggested to her if she had considered finding a Christian Therapist and referring. She had not, in fact she just couldn’t understand how there could even be “Christian Counselors” and how they could remain neutral in therapy sessions. I smiled politely at her and stated, well, actually, I myself am a Christian Therapist, and this is how I am able to work with my clients from a Christ-centered perspective…” I am sure I surprised her quite a bit. In fact, I must have surprised her so much, she avoided me the rest of the workshop.

Sexual misconduct by therapists with their patients and supervisors with their supervisees is still an ongoing problem in the field of clinical practice and the majority of the training seemed to focus in on this, but instead of using real-life case samples, we got to watch movie snippets for how Hollywood interprets therapy (which for the most part is poorly, by the way). And for a final exercise in this area of concern, I learned that the wisdom of the trainer I had was truly foolishness. First, she let us know that we did not have to do the exercise if we didn’t want to, but that she would explain it after we did it. That was my big red flag. We were instructed to physically write out a plan for how we would sexually seduce a client in our office. Seriously, I was appalled. I refused the assignment. We were later told that by doing the assignment we would then be better able to detect in ourselves when we might be starting to slip into this plan and to be sure to avoid it. Hmmm. Seems to me there could have been a much better way to teach this.

Scripture tells us that we are to guard our thoughts and to flee from sexual immorality. “After desire has been conceived it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full grown gives birth to death.” James 1:15 How about we just don’t go there? We flee! Why entertain the thought, even yet, why put a plan in writing…can you see what the next step would be? We are living in dangerous times for sure.  When a trainer on ethics decides that this kind of an exercise would help us in physical restraint, we are mislead as professionals. For the only one who restrains is the indwelling Spirit of God in the hearts of the believers. We MUST exercise restraint by allowing the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And we should practice fleeing from sin and sinful desires, being willing to hold every though captive to the obedience of Christ.

I realized after this training, that indeed, I am in the world, but not of this world. And yes, my evaluation of the training that I turned in had a lot of writing on it!

 

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GA FlowerI am here in Peachtree City, GA right now, visiting my 90 year-old grandmother and almost 89 year-old grandfather. I have fondly called them MeMe and PaPa since I was little. My grandmother recently broke her upper left leg around a repaired hip break last year and I came to bring some good cheer and let her know how much I love her; as well I came to be a helping hand with the family.  As I saw her in the rehab facility Friday night, I was reminded how frail life had become again for her. She has lived a long life and seen so much.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

The initial shock of seeing MeMe suffering physically and emotionally is freshly etched in my mind and is unsettling in my heart as a grand-daughter and as a mental health counselor. I want to take her pain away and I want to be able to tell her she can come home and be with her family. But I can’t. She needs the time to heal. She wept and I wept with her. There is a time to mourn and grieve the loss of independence, the pain of being alone in a care facility and there is a time to love and to embrace as I lay next to her in the bed yesterday afternoon snuggling with her as she took a nap. I’m not ready for the time to die yet.

I suppose God will prepare me for that season, in its time, and as well for my grandma. In the meantime, there is a time for everything…don’t let these moments of here and now slip you by. Life is too short. When we have opportunities to grieve, it is important to experience them right when they are happening so that it is not stuffed down inside ourselves or prolonged. It will help us in the long run when those final moments come and death takes our loved ones. Our grief is only temporary in the grand scheme of life. Death has been overcome. And when you have time to tell stories of yesteryear – LAUGH – even if it makes you cry! I think I will be on a bit of a roller coaster with my emotions while I am here, but I am okay with that…this is life …and my time for everything with my MeMe and PaPa.

I thank You God for these precious moments in time and to be a participant in them!