Where I Am

on

2 days left (sort of)… !!!

Track 9. Intentionally

It’s a good thing you can’t see me right now, because I am starting to cry as I write about this one. I am not sure if it’s because I know my CD is releasing in less the 48 hours or because of this song that I am going to tell you about.

I hope my son doesn’t read this…(jk)

Actually, this song was inspired by my wonderful son, Nathanael. He, like you and me, was born wonderful in God’s image. I always longed for a son and God gave us one on our last try! We call him our love child! We didn’t know it when he was born or when he was younger, but Nate is on the Autism Spectrum and was diagnosed later in life (6th grade) with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, NOS. Basically, Asperger’s type.

When we didn’t know for sure what was going on with him, he struggled to find his meaning and purpose in his identity. He LOVED Jesus at a very early age and accepted him when he was only 4 years old and baptized soon after. He loves to have deep theological discussions about his faith and God. But he also knew there was something different about himself. He thought he was stupid. He couldn’t have been further from the truth. He started being bullied in elementary school and middle school. In first grade we took him to Children’s Hospital in Seattle and they knew he had some type of cognitive impairment but they just

Nate when he was in 5th grade
Nate when he was in 5th grade

couldn’t put their finger on it. Nate also struggled with a developmental vision issue where he couldn’t see things in stereo if his eyes or brain were fatigued, and was also diagnosed with strabismus. He had balance and coordination issues and just wasn’t your athletic kiddo, no matter how much we had hoped. He was very down on himself and would get very depressed and angry.

I missed it as a therapist when he was little, but had started putting all the pieces together and by the time he was in 6th grade, we pursued the evaluation. Sure enough, the diagnosis was confirmed. It was hard to diagnose it though, because with our parenting abilities, we were able to extinguish some of the behaviors he had that would have been more identifiable in assessment (the eye contact, biting on the arm, banging of the head on the wall, rocking, etc.). It wasn’t until we had the firm diagnosis that he began to understand more about himself and actually how intelligent he really was! And it was at this time that we were able to help affirm him even more about who he was (and is) in Christ.

One day Nate and I were driving home from my picking him up from school. The leaves were turning their fall colors and he said something really profound. It was at that moment, I was inspired with these words. I said to him, “Nate, do you know that God made you intentionally and that He has a purpose for your life? He knew you were going to have Autism and that you needed parents like your dad and I to help you get everything you need to be successful in this world.”

Nate had been resentful from some of the ABA tutoring we had put him through the couple of years earlier, but at this time he told me how much he had appreciated all that we were doing. He spoke of insights he had about himself and how he noticed similar behaviors in other kids that he met, that were like him. I was so amazed at what he was learning. He was finally getting it. He was learning that he was just fine the way he was. He was becoming resilient in his identity.

After finishing the song (Nate had heard portions of it with me writing it here at home) and getting the ruff track back from Nashville, I asked him if he was ready to hear it. Of course, he was. We laid on the floor in the Great Room here and stared up at the ceiling while I played the track on the Bose speakers for him. After we listened to the song, he said, “Mom, that’s me!” I looked over at him and said, “Yes, Nate, that is you! And God made you so wonderful!”

This song is general enough in the lyrics to speak to anyone who has a developmental, mental, emotional or physical disability. For those who are broken-hearted, who feel worthless and believe that no one loves them. God loves you so VERY much! He gave you His Son, Jesus, so that you can become whole in Him. No one can take away who you are in Christ. He loves you just as you are. You have meaning and purpose and He wants to reveal that to you. Don’t ever give up. Don’t throw your life away or try to end it. You are a great treasure! Do not seek the praise of man or let others determine your worth, instead, believe what God says about who you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! He knew you before He knitted you in your mother’s womb. He created you in His image and of all of His creations in nature (which He said were GOOD), He said you are VERY GOOD! Read about yourself in Psalm 139!

Ask Him into your heart today, by asking for forgiveness. Let Him show you how much He loves you. You are not your disability or your past. You are beautiful…a precious child of God.

9. Intentionally
©2013 Jen Haugland
Jen Haugland Music (ASCAP)

V1
What’s the matter on your heart
A little trouble in your soul?
I’d like to draw it out of you
And be there to help you sort it out

PC
I know He loves you so and I’m hoping you will know
Nothing ever happens by chance

Ch
For you were made so intentionally
There’s purpose in your life, ev’ry detail’s in His hands
With all the beauty of your intricacies
Nothing’s ever wasted, I know He understands
Because He made you so intentionally

V2
If you could step outside yourself
And get another point of view
See the precious child of God
That I see in you

PC
I know He loves you so and I’m hoping you will know
Nothing ever happens by chance

Ch

Bridge
Every hurt that you have been through, all the things you know you did were wrong
Can bring you one step closer to where you belong

Ch

Blair Masters
Blair Masters

Mark Baldwin & Gary Lunn
Mark Baldwin & Gary Lunn

Session Players

Mark Baldwin (guitar)
Gary Lunn (bass)
Blair Masters (keys)
Ken Lewis (drums)

on

JenHauglandLREvent

 Come hang out with us here! There will be coffee, tea and cookies and open mic before my set (bring your own mug!). ;p

The Living Room Lodge

Calvary Chapel Eastside, 5130 164th Ave SE, Bellevue, WA 98006

THIS FRIDAY, May 2nd @ 7 p.m!

If you live in the area, I hope you can come! I would love to meet you and share my new CD (pre-release!) with you that was produced and co-written with my Producer, Eric Copeland of Creative Soul Records in Nashville, TN. Releases May 6!

on

8 more days… (well, as I write…almost 7)…

Track 3. Where I Am

This is the title track to the project. It was a no brainer, however, it took us a while to figure it out, as we went through all the songs and lyrics while doing vocals out at Dark Horse in Franklin. We realized I had used the words “where I am” in two songs on the project…well, at least we thought. Then, as I was singing through the bridge of another song, we found yet a 3rd reference to “where I am”. So, that is how the title came to be for the album. I guess I have been thinking a lot over the past couple of years about where I am.

Honestly, I am not sure where I am (so many unknowns), but I know whose hands I am in, and I guess that is good enough for me. With all the uncertainty that I am surrounded in, I know for sure that I am not alone. My God is leading and directing my life and every day is a journey discovering where He is taking me along the way. I know that as I wrote these lyrics I was thinking often about how inviting it is when one is outside on a cold and gray rainy day, to find a home beckoning you closer to the warmth that exudes beyond the window panes. I think of the fire that might be burning inside and how I would love to just go right up to the door and be welcomed in: to sit down in a comfortable chair and be warmed up.

That’s how I feel God is. He is always right there…waiting for me to open that door and come right in and visit with Him in front of the warmth of His presence. It is a peaceful place where I can find rest from the rainy days of life. Sometimes I just get so busy with life and keep walking around the block, yet one more time. I think I have to get just one more thing done, when I really know I ought to stop what I am doing and just go inside and spend the time with Him. It’s what I really need anyway to keep me going each and every day.

I think it makes God sad when I don’t come sooner than later, but I know that He always rejoices when I finally do come to spend time with Him away from all the distractions. He takes me where I am. I don’t have to pretend to have it all together. He knows me and so the facade can fade away; it doesn’t help me get any closer to Him anyway. But when I just go on in and just be who I am (who He made me to be…ME) and say, “I’m here, God!”, He loves it and He takes me right where I am. Even if I’m at a loss for words.

I just wish I would get in the habit of going inside much quicker instead of fiddling around with going around the block so many times. And stop in more often. I do love my Savior so much. He is who I am living for.


Image_fotor

Where I Am
©2013 Jen Haugland
Jen Haugland Music (ASCAP)

V1
I’m a little late, broke Your heart again
I’m at Your door, will You let me in
It’s cold outside, seems I’ve lost my way
Been around this block, many times today

PC
Your light is shining bright
And it’s a welcomed sight

Ch
You take me where I am
Any time of night or day
Even rainy days when
I haven’t got the words to say
Oh, You take me, You take me
Where I am

V2
Here’s my famed façade, didn’t serve me well
Only kept me far from Your love until
I saw my heart, it was all alone
An empty void only You could fill

PC

Chorus

 

on

9 more days til the release of Where I Am!

Track 2. The In-Between

I started working on this song in the Fall of 2012 with Cindy Wilt-Colville. I had hired her to work with me on writer development and I really had a desire to dig deeper into myself and pull out the thoughts and experiences of my heart in the hidden places. In the beginning of this early writing career and in developing this music ministry, I was beginning to get a grasp of the unknowns (if that makes any sense), and started to realize that it really was okay to not know what tomorrow brings, but that I could be sure of the here and now, the in-between, where yesterday and tomorrow meet. This is where I am sure that grace has found me and where God speaks to me.

Cindy and I reflected on how people have to make hard decisions in life of which road to go down when life throws us curve balls with such things as a terminal diagnosis, loss of job, divorce, uncertain futures, etc. Sometimes it seems so hard to hear God’s voice and we doubt, and then fear that He must have abandoned us. But then we are reminded of His Word, of a truth that He will never leave us or forsake us. He is very near to us and He knows what we need before we even ask. And so, in faith, we call out to Him and trust that He is here, even when we can’t hear His voice. He loves us so very much. Jesus is our evidence!

Today is where I am, and I’m forever in His hands.

The unknowns are now an adventure for me, even if they are unpleasant. Mainly because I realize I am not in control of what a day brings. But I am in control of how I respond to it. I know that my days are the days that He has planned for me and they are numbered. It’s so much easier to follow Him when I stay with today.

And which of us by being anxious, can add a single hour to our lifespan? He will take care of every need that we have… It is better to keep our focus on Him with a treasure in the Heavens that doesn’t fail. Where a thief doesn’t approach or a moth destroys. For where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. (See Luke 12: 25-34)

I am learning to be comfortable with the “uncomfortableness” of the unknowns. Where yesterday and tomorrow meet is a good place to be!

The In-Between
©2013 Jen Haugland
Jen Haugland Music (ASCAP)

V1
So many roads that I could take
There are choices I must make
Which way will they lead
I wish I could see the forest ‘for the trees
But life’s just not that way
One step every day

Ch
You will meet me in the in-between
Where I’m not sure of many things
But Your love and Your grace
And how they carry me to this place
You will meet me in the in-between
Where yesterday and tomorrow meet
Oh speak to me, speak to me, You speak to me
In the in-between

V2
When I cry out Your name, and I can’t hear
I still sense that You are near
And you know what I need
I’m always amazed that You’ll never leave
Your love, it has no end
A faithful friend

Ch

Bridge
My past is gone I can’t return
The future I have yet to learn
But today is where I am
And I’m forever in Your hands

Ch

Session PlayersImage

Steve Baldwin (guitar)

Mark Hill (bass)

Jeff Roach (keys)

Steve Brewster (drums)

Steve Dady (engineer)

Sunset Blvd Studios, Brentwood, TN

on

Save the Date:

Where I Am Cover_1000

Jen Haugland – Where I Am – Album Release Concert

Friday, May 9, 2014,  at 7 p.m.

Sequim Community Church

950 N. 5th Ave, Sequim, WA

 

Plans have been underway for a great release concert here in our little community of Sequim! I am so excited and proud to introduce this new release to you straight from the heart of music city and the Christian music industry! It’s been a labor of love, sacrifice and placing a lot of trust in my Savior to see this project come to completion. So all of you who live close or happen to be attending the Sequim Irrigation Festival the weekend of May 9, you are hereby personally invited to my release concert!! It’s also Mother’s Day weekend, so come on and bring your momma in (or wife) for a fun free evening (I promise, you will score points with her on this!).

Jeremy Cays of Jeremy Cays Productions, is overseeing the production of the concert and is doing an incredible job lining things up for me. I will be backed by talented, local musicians: Dillan Witherow, Jonathan Simonson, Jason Taylor, Kirk Thomas, Steven Mangiameli, and Mike Madison. Also being featured will be local singer-songwriter Tom Taylor who will also share 3 of his songs he has written.

Where I Am is proudly produced and co-written with my producer, Eric Copeland, President of Creative Soul Records, Nashville, TN. I have worked very hard with Eric over the past 16 months with this project and it has really paid off as you listen to the final product. We are both very proud of how it turned out and we had a lot of fun creating it! We left a lot of room for the songs to grow: between my scratch demos, to Eric’s creative imagination with the composing, arranging and production, to the stellar skill and talent of the Nashville session players doing what they do best.

“After working through Creative Soul’s Artist Development program, Copeland saw promise in several of Jen’s new songs. They began tracking on the new songs, and then co-writing on several new songs. It was soon very obvious, a special collection of songs were forming.

Working with some of the top musicians in the Christian music business (Dave Cleveland, Mark Hill, Jason Webb, Mark Baldwin and more) and mixed by Grammy-winning engineer Ronnie Brookshire, the new album is a unique blend of contemporary pop and rock, mixed with some out of the box arrangements.

This album is like an onion,” says producer Eric Copeland. “It starts with current sounding pop, but then you just start peeling away the layers. With each song, the album takes on new dimensions. It’s been a pleasure to create and now to listen to!”

Additionally, Loretta Sassaman of Spin That 45 had this to say in her recent review: “…this 11-track album is an impressive project of music that should not be ignored.  Well crafted and thought out, it has the ingredients to be considered timeless.” (read the rest of her review on Spin That 45).

Looking forward to seeing you there! It’s going to be a lot of fun! We will have fresh baked cookies, coffee, tea, and water waiting for you and a couple of other surprises! See the attached poster for all the details!

God bless you and see you soon!

Love,

Jen

11x17WhereIAmReleaseConcertrsz

on

Today is 10 days before the release of my first full album project, Where I Am, produced and co-written with Eric Copeland of Creative Soul Records, Nashville, TN. I can’t think of a more creative way to do a countdown to one of the most exciting times for me personally (besides marriage, babies and baptisms), than to do an official countdown with what was behind every song that I wrote on the album. 10 song (11 tracks due to an instrumental) in 10 days! Wish it had been that simple in real life!

I’ll start off in order to keep the consistency and flow of the tracks!

Track 1. Deep Into You

This is my very first song that I decided to be brave on and write with a guitar. Since most of my writing is done on the piano, and I had heard that if you want to change up your writing, try a different instrument, I thought why not. And thus was born…a secular song. I must have been thinking I should try and write a cool rock star song, since I was playing it on my guitar. But it didn’t really fit with my inspirational Christian genre, so I decided I needed to give it a holy transformation. I thought (and said to myself), “self, what if you were writing this song to God? How would you show others all that He is for you?” And so the challenge was before me.

The lyrics were about 2/3rds finished when we tracked in session with the guys at Steve Dady’s. The day of tracking, I was actually en route from Seattle to Pittsburgh with a layover in Chicago with a puppy in tow.

Said puppy of interest
Said puppy of interest

So, here I am, listening to my first two songs being tracked in Nashville, TN on an app streaming live from Steve’s studio, while I’m trying to potty my puppy on a pee pad at Midway airport in the handicap stall. It was so surreal! I mean, magic was happening on the other side of this amazing technology of my iPad and MacBook Pro with the most talented and skilled session players Nashville has to offer in the CCM music industry; and here I am in a stall, begging a silly little puppy to please go potty so I can focus on hearing my song. Geez, didn’t all the women in the bathroom know how cool my stall was? (I think I should take this important moment to clarify to you, I was not using the bathroom, myself – neither did the puppy for that matter).

After the guys finished their tracking of my second song and I had just finished texting my producer about how surreal things where based on the above antics, he proceeds to tell the players (and I can hear him saying this over the app), “Hey guys, check this out…she’s in a handicapped stall in the women’s bathroom at Midway airport pottying a puppy on a pee pad while listening to her song get tracked!” Laughter erupts in studio. Bass player Mark Hill says, “Now that’s something I haven’t heard before!” How embarrassingly funny. I was both mortified and immortalized. I had to laugh. I guess one always wants a way to stand out, when making a first impression…Yeah, some session players now know me as the artist that was pottying a puppy on a pee pad in a handicap stall at Midway airport. Say that 10 times fast!

After puppy and I finished in the bathroom, I received a “ruff” (not a dog ruff, but a music track rough) of Deep Into You by Steve. So here I am now, walking to my next gate and listening to Dave Cleveland totally rock out my song in a crazy screaming e. guitar instrumental in the middle of the song (well, sort of seemed like it, it was so awesome). All of the sudden, I had a serious rhythm in my step, my heart was pounding and I was feeling a Sylvester Stallone, Rocky moment. I wanted to shout out “Stella!” I was near tears to hear my scratch demo so magically transformed. People at my gate would have been worried had they seen me crying, so I attempted to tough it out…with a cute puppy to keep me company!

Getting back to the lyrics, the focus of the song was reflecting desert wandering. You know how there is this easier way of life if you just obey and follow God’s lead (not that His ways are always easy)? Or there is the “hey, let’s go down this path, it looks more exciting and dangerous!” (and stupid).

Anyway, traveling down roads that bankrupt your soul and leave you parched, can make you very thirsty for truth and a living water that never ends. What’s even more cool (besides a cold glass if water) is the fact that no matter how awful and treacherous your path has been, God doesn’t waste a thing and helps you take that story and turn it into a testament of His goodness in your life! So, if you must go through the desert (and here is my disclaimer: I really don’t recommend it), bring water…

Deep Into You
©2013 Jen Haugland
Jen Haugland Music (ASCAP)
Deep Into You

V1
Like a thirsty soul in a desert land
I was desperate at my core
Every other path had kept me wandering and
I was needing something more

Ch
I’m falling deep into You
Away from everything that I’ve been through
I’m falling deep into You
It’s the best thing I’ll ever do

V2
Find the meaning in every day of life
There’s a reason why I’m here
As my struggles shape and redefine me
They’re drawing me so near

Ch

IMG_4865

Session Players
Dave Cleveland (e.guitar)
Mark Hill (bass)
Jason Webb (keys)
Ken Lewis (drums)

Steve Dady (engineer)

Sunset Blvd Studios, Brentwood, TN

on

So honored to have this incredible review of my album, Where I Am, from Loretta Sassaman at Spin That 45

—

Where I Am Cover_1000After much soul searching, singer / songwriter Jen Haugland proves that she has grown up in her writing skills and matured with her new LP, “Where I Am.”

Working with producer, Eric Copeland of Creative Soul Records, this 11-track album is an impressive project of music that should not be ignored.  Well crafted and thought out, it has the ingredients to be considered timeless.

I have to admit that while listening to it, I did have some emotional moments, especially while listening to The Storm. What a powerful song! And so beautiful. It’s a very gripping type of composition that has you feeling like you’ve heard it playing at a tear-jerking movie. Mark Burnett, take note! I think you should take a sec and listen to this song! : )

Not every song is going to bring you to tears, tho. There are some bouncy tunes, like Little Bit Crazy which has that kind of “spring in your step” kind of feel.  Love “So Hard to Find” with it’s smooth jazzy feel to it.  And Jen sounds so cool on this track. Really love her groovy vocals! I detect Bossa Nova artist “Basia” in her tone.

Critics might consider this a Contemporary Christian release. But with the genre of music ranging from soft pop to contemporary to maybe a little smooth jazz, it would be, in my opinion a shame to place this in the CCM category.

The messages may fall under the realm of Christian, but in listening to every song, the lyrics talk about real life . . . relationships, from intimate to spiritual. And who hasn’t heard those types of lyrics in songs heard on today’s radio stations? I have.

And as I said earlier, I did feel some tears flow as this has been a heavy week for me. Deep emotions surfacing! And perhaps that was Jen’s intention. She is after all, a licensed therapist. And as she states on the liner notes, the album is not just meant to be enjoyed but to bring healing to those hurting.  I can believe that.  One song in particular that brought those tears was “Intentionally,” a song about children with special needs. The “special needs” I have been dealing with are kids who don’t feel valued and wished they had never been born, thus having a desire to hurt themselves. So when I heard this song, I saw those faces in the lyrics. And THAT to me is good songwriting!It Takes A Village!
So impressed by all who are on this album. I’ve heard most of them on other projects.  It’s great to hear these great musicians on this album together. Truly stellar in their skills.
Review by Loretta Sassaman at Spin That 45

on

I just checked the tracking of my CDs and they are now in Seattle! They arrive tomorrow evening! FINALLY!!! (Can you see me trying to jump up and down?)

My producer and I are busy working on the new website, marketing plan and materials, bookings, etc.

SAVE THE DATES:
WHERE I AM – RELEASE DATE set for May 6.
RELEASE CONCERT for WHERE I AM was approved for May 9, 2014 @ 7 p.m., SEQUIM COMMUNITY CHURCH! My friend Jeremy Cays will be helping me with the production of the concert. We are going to have a live band backing me, so we are looking forward to a great evening of a lot of fun!

I have also just confirmed a small concert at The LIVING ROOM LODGE-Calvary Chapel Eastside in Bellevue, WA, Friday – May 2, 2014! So if you live in the Seattle Area and want to come hear a pre-release of my new album in an intimate setting… SAVE THE DATE! The night will begin at 7 p.m. and I will be the featured artist on-stage at 8:15!

So as you can see, I am busy working on booking concerts and coming up with a marketing plan for the album! And now it’s going to get REALLY busy!

On top of it all, a couple of visits to the ER and a night’s stay in the hospital, just a week after getting back from my Nashville trip, revealed a diagnosis of another blood clot a couple of weeks ago. This time in my cerebral venous sinus and the vein is severely restricted, but fortunately the blood is still able to flow through the center of it. There is also some blockage in a vertebral artery in my neck.

20140415-193300.jpg9 years ago I had a couple of TIA’s and a small stroke from a clot in the Left Atrial Appendage of my heart and I have been on anti-coagulant therapy ever since (with no answers why my blood clots like this), so we are pretty baffled as to why this is still happening.

But thankfully, God isn’t surprised by any of this, and I know He is still very good and in control. He has a plan with all of this! I do tend to worry a bit, so I really appreciate all your prayers to cover me as the doctors and specialists work on trying to figure this out as I continue to step out in faith with the release of this project…it’s WHERE I AM!

Many blessings and love to you all!

Jen

on

Kickstarter Campaign Link – Where I Am

Things are really starting to move! I have put together a Kickstarter Campaign to build support to finish my CD project. The campaign is called “Where I Am”. I need your help as I have to reach my goal within 30 days or I lose the pledged funding. Please be sure to share, like, and re-post my campaign page on all of your social media outlets. Also email it to as many friends and family members that you think would be willing to support it. In return I have some nice rewards for everyone’s support!

Thank you so much and God bless! I can’t wait for you to hear the final project! I can’t wait to hear the final project! 🙂

Love,

Jen