songwriter

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I know you all haven’t heard from me in awhile, but I’m still around. This last year has been a year of pain and healing from a herniated disc with sciatica, relationships, and a recent huge career move, which was an arduous process in and of itself, while still working on new music projects.

If you have enjoyed my music and message I put out there, then I hope you’ll be excited to know that I have a new single that will be released soon, “Near”, and also a personal worship EP, “Sacred Space”, that includes a re-mix of Rest (sung by me), and three other new songs.

Near is about how God is near to the broken-hearted. Life happens and some things are just beyond what you ever thought you could go through or handle. When your spirit is crushed and you feel all hope is gone, He can give you just enough to go one breath farther.

I’m excited about Sacred Space because it’s a project compiled of songs from my time of co-writing with other talented Songwriters while I was living in Franklin, TN last year (2016).
You will enjoy the soft, inspirational and worshipful vocals as usual, along with some awesome instrumentals by amazingly talented Nashville session players, that will transport you to a higher place…a Sacred Space!

Stay tuned!

Blessings, Jen

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Friends, we are in desperate times as a church right now to be authentic, genuine followers of Christ. As a believer in America where we have so much free access to the Bible and so many opportunities to share Christ, we can easily grow complacent, while other members of the Body around the world have been driven underground and risk their lives to live out the Gospel.

I recently attended the screening of The Insanity of God, a new documentary coming out, to call us to consider the cost of following Jesus. It was humbling to say the least. Whether we are persecuted or not, we are all one Church, the Body of Christ.

The Gospel has always been free and sometimes we can think we should be silenced, because we don’t want to offend others, or we could risk losing friendships, family, or jobs. The Enemy of God rejoices in our silence and political correctness in regards to privatizing our faith. Complacency leads to apathy, which is not good for us as believers. It is time for us to wake-up and jump off our fence. It’s time to count the cost.

We are a privileged country and whether our rights remain or are taken away from us, the Gospel of Jesus is still free. The Church is thriving in China, North Korea, Russia and other Muslim countries. Persecution, as horrendous as it is, still will never separate us from Christ. In fact, it will make us stronger believers, refining us, making us bold witnesses for Jesus.

One Life is a song idea I had when I felt like I was growing complacent in my own life. I had let disappointment in the politics of church, sideline me at times. But somehow, I think none of that would matter if my focus truly remained in the right place: on Jesus.

I want to live every moment like it counts. I want to spread His love, because I know it is the only kind of love that breaks down all barriers. I want to sacrifice all that I have, because of the example that was shown to me: giving is what life is all about. Christ gave His life for me, so that I might live. What am I willing to give for Him?

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…” Romans 1:15a

This song I am sharing with you is a co-write with my buddy, Scott Liebenow, from Chicago. We believe in this song so much that we wanted to make a demo of it and get it out there by way of a lyric video, so that the Church could be encouraged everywhere…right now. And we give it freely to you. We are honored to have another songwriting friend and demo vocalist here in Nashville, Amanda Kinner, sing on this…and her voice is just so heavenly.

Please help us out, by spreading this song to the farthest corners of the earth. We only have one life to live, one life to give and we need to offer it up to Him, so that the world will know how wonderful He is!

May God bless you wherever you are right now, and awaken your Spirit for His glory!

Love, Jen

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What makes a good tour?

There is no way that I could re-cap every detail from the tour, but I thought I would at least share some thoughts and pictures from my time out there on the road. To say the least…it was WONDERFUL! And God led me every step of the way, keeping me safe.

Home

I drove my Toyota Prius, loaded down with all my gear, merchandise and necessities for 5 weeks, out of the driveway from my home in the great Pacific NW of WA through ID, MT, WY, CO, KS, MO, TN, up to VA, (where I hit 4000 miles) back around through PA, IN, IL, IA, NE, CO, WY, MO, ID & WA again.  7,537.5 miles RT! Awesome gas mileage!

Wheatland, WY

I did a Creative Soul TourShare with fellow roster artist of Creative Soul Records,  Skylar Kaylyn. Skylar and I did a fun co-concertIMG_9401 where we shared stories and songs back and forth at her home church of Wheatland Bible in Wheatland, WY.  It was there that I was introduced to Choe Hays, a promoter from Cheyenne, who came to the concert to support Skylar and hear me as well. I was really blessed by meeting Choe. We talked afterwards and Choe said he would like to help promote me in the central states and  Wyoming and we kept in touch on the tour so we could line some events up at the end if I can back through Wyoming. Wheatland Bible Pastor Jason Iacovetto and his wife Anita were such gracious hosts to allow me to stay in their home while they were gone. Anita shared her coffee with me and I helped take care of their fur and feathered family members while they traveled to a wedding back in Pullman, WA (small world, as I graduated from Washington State University in Pullman many years ago and we knew some of the same people!).Image 3

After hitting the road from Wyoming, I found out that my songwriting coach, Songwriter Champion Cindy Wilt Colville, was in Hospice care with stage IV lung cancer and not expected to live much longer. It was a shock to learn of it. Very few people knew.  I had planned on being in Nashville for some co-writing with my producer the second week of July and I was hoping to share the new CD release with her and had invited her to my house concert in Mt. Juliet. She was very instrumental in a couple of the songs on the project: The In-Between and Intentionally. But it all made sense to me then, why I didn’t hear back from her.  My goal was to try and get to Nashville in time to see her once more and say goodbye.

Radio Opps

I made a few contacts for radio while I was on tour and sent CD’s off to Ron Corino, Bethel College Radio, KBCU 88.1 FM North Newton, KS; Arthur Payne of KBAT Christian Radio (online), Kansas City, MO; Creatures Cafe Radio Program (live and online), WWIP 89.1 The Word in Praise, Chesapeake & Virginia Beach, VA; and by the end of the tour Christian Originals Radio (online), Seattle, WA.

Broomfield, CO

IMG_6381Stayed a couple of nights with an old girlfriend, Kim, from Port Townsend High School (WA) where I moved my senior year of high school. We hit the Chihuly Exhibit at Denver Botanic Gardens the first day. The next morning for breakfast, I reconnected with aIMG_9487n old friend, Phil, from Valparaiso (IN) where I grew up. We have known each other since 3rd grade. I found out my friend Phil has a major in marketing from both his undergrad and grad schools and wants to help an old friend out with her marketing and getting events booked. Yea! Thanks Phil! I gave him a bunch of marketing materials and hit the road for Springfield, MO.

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Metropolis, IL

Being a tourist: A weak moment with Superman. He and I discussed taking on the world together and saving it from all the bad guys…

Springfield, MO

IMG_9541Then I had the longest drive of my trip to Springfield, MO to stay with another girlfriend, Mindy, from my hometown here in Sequim, WA. She and her husband Steve and daughter Charissa are some pretty big fans of mine and Mindy is the president of my fan club (which right now still seems to be an honorary title as I haven’t give her any work yet, but it sounds good)!  Mindy is a believer and huge fan of my music. She has listened to my songs from the beginning when they first start out as ideas and then to the end when they are published. She and Steve approached the pastor of their church, Redeemer Lutheran, and asked if he would have me come play at their church. As a 5 year old, little Miss Charissa had both my EP Your Love Comes After me and CD Where I Am, completely memorized. So very precious!          IMG_9766

My tour extended over the 4th of July holiday where I had about a week of time with the Moser’s before the Redeemer Lutheran event, so I was able to enjoy the 4th with them and then Mindy helped with a booking at an Assisted Living Center. It was great being at a good ‘ole Midwest 4th of July. So much fun. We watched the parade and enjoyed the fireworks at the Trail of Tears Park. I was so thankful to be with such loving friends who hosted me, even AFTER just moving into their new home!

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Creekside at Elfindale Assisted Living, Springfield, MO

It was such a joy to play for the residents of Creekside Assisted Living! They were so warm and welcoming of me and one sweet older man wanted to make sure he could buy one of my CD’s. I tried to give it to him for free, but he insisted on giving me every dollar he had left in his pocket. He came up short and I told him I was running a special that day and sold him the CD for $5 off! 😉

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Redeemer Lutheran, Springfield, MO

After the 4th, I had a planning meeting with the pastor early in the week to prepare for Friday’s Prayer and Praise night.  I placed

another order of t-shirts that arrived just in time for the concert. Thankfully the t-shirts were made just outside of Springfield so I was able to pick them up in their shop right there in town.

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Another great friend from my old high school in Port Townsend, Shawn, lived just east of Springfield and was willing to help me with my Merch and help promote the concert in her community and church. She was the boss of my merch table! Thanks Shawn, you ROCK!
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Well, it is an understatement to say that the night of prayer and praise at Redeemer Lutheran was an incredible and powerful night to see the Holy Spirit at work.  There is such beauty of joining with a current ministry for the sake of the gospel and growth of God’s people. I love that it is not about me when I am up there in front ministering, but about meeting God where He is at, joining Him at His work. Treasures in heaven.

Mt. Juliet & Nashville, TN

IMG_9988On Monday July 14, I had a songwriting session in one of the writing rooms at Word Entertainment with my producer, Eric Copeland of Creative Soul Records.  We co-wrote a beautiful Christmas song that is currently being mixed right now by Ronnie Brookshire. I can’t wait for you to hear it! It’s a beautiful love song…and that’s all I am going to say about it for now…

On Tuesday night I had another Creative Soul TourShare event, a House Concert with Creative Soul Artist Zach Allen in Mt. Juliet. IMG_0080We did a live stream on U-Stream which worked out pretty well. We even had a couple of fans tune in! Zach’s family was so generous to let me stay in their home during this trip and I really enjoyed being a part of the family and listening to their daily devotions at the breakfast table. Tina is a fantastic cook and host! Zach even showed me how to change my strings on my guitar (yes, I am still learning).

While with Zach’s family, they introduced me to Melinda Chaney.  Zach was going to be playing at an outdoor concert in the park in Stevenson, AL, with Melinda, Friday, July 18. I was fortunate to get invited as well to play with them. So that was in the books.
Until later…Cindy Wilt Colville…Songwriter Champion

CindyJenDeerRunSIR2012Printed in the program for Cindy’s funeral: “I received Christ Jesus, June 12th, 4 days after and from my birthday. I will try to serve him the rest of my life. Romans 10:13 Cindy Lea Wilt” – handwritten on the inside flap of Cindy’s Bible, given to her by her mother and father on Easter Sunday, April 10, 1966.

Cindy did just that. She has set quite an example for those of us who knew here and loved her. On Wednesday, July 16, many came together for the most beautiful funeral ceremony for Cindy Wilt Colville, mentor and Champion of Songwriters. About 12 out of 22 of us songwriters from Cindy’s 1st Songwriting Intensive Retreat 2012, were present and filled the whole 3rd row. It was nice to reconnect, but bittersweet as we reflected on Cindy. But because of Cindy, all of our lives have been changed, our songwriting skills have grown and we have made lasting friendships that continue to this day. We miss you Cindy.

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Friday, July 18 in the morning it started raining and by noon it was determined that the concert in Stevenson, AL was needing to be canceled. Not about to let a good opportunity go to waste, Melinda and I still decided to meet with each other as I headed out to GA and we met off an exit just before Chattanooga.  There inside a Wendy’s, we blessed one another with our stories and swapped CD’s. We are looking forward to future opportunities to get to play together.

Peachtree City, GA

Because of the extra days in Nashville with Cindy’s funeral, I was pressed for time and debated how the rest of the tour should go with my driving schedule. I still needed to connect with my family in GA plus try and meet a connection in VA. I decided to push it and do it all. I went to Peachtree City, GA to spend a day with my grandma. I gave my MeMe her own private house concert the next day, while my family went out with friends to a movie. I set up all the equipment in my aunt’s living room and played for her just like the old days when I was growing up. She used to always come to my recitals. It was such a special moment to see her tapping her feet and hands to the rhythms there in my aunt’s living room as I played the songs off the new album to her. A moment with her I will never forget. (Note to self: make sure the keys are turned way down before you first start playing them. My 92 year-old Grandma still has a great startle response).

(to be continued)…

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Maybe some might think this is a little personal to share, but I am going to err on the side of sharing it in the hope that it might bring encouragement to someone else out there who is dealing with the unknowns of medical health issues. It’s my reality of “where I am” (yes, and a pun intended on the words with the new album title) and with an upcoming tour, something I have to deal with diligently.

10 years ago, when I was 36 I had my first TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack). It caused blindness, like a vertical shade going across my right eye for about 10 seconds and then I experienced some droopiness on the left-side of my face and then left-sided weakness in my arm down to my hand the next day. My doctor put me on warfarin, an anti-coagulant, right away. We searched and found the answer to it via a TEE (Trans Esophageal Echocardiogram): a finger like blood clot attached along the inside wall of the left atrial appendage of my heart happily fluttering back and forth. Culprit.

About a year later my body finally broke down the clot and I had another episode. This time a small stroke. Again left-sided weakness. Apparently what was left of the clot dislodged. A follow-up TEE showed it was gone. After that first TIA my doctor sent me to specialists and we ruled out many things. The Hematologist could not figure out why I was clotting. All the tests he ran were negative. He said since there was no reason why I should be clotting, I could come off the warfarin. I didn’t feel comfortable with that and did not want to experience the effects of another stroke. So I stayed on the warfarin, and I am glad I did, in hindsight.

Fast forward through 10 years of all the hassles of bleeding, blood coagulation testing, and beautiful bruises…

I had just returned from my last trip to Nashville the beginning of May. I woke up one morning and had what seemed like another episode of a TIA. It didn’t quite feel the same, as I had swelling, redness and numbness on the left side of my face, but then I had the left-sided weakness and numbness in my arm and hand with some tingling in my fingers. That part was similar. I monitored the symptoms all day and when they weren’t resolving, I decided to go to the clinic, but they immediately sent me to the ER due to my stroke history.

I was mad. I didn’t want to go to the ER and make a big deal about this. More blood tests, an MRI and a CT scan with contrast revealed a left Cerebral Venous Sinus thrombosis in the back of my head, but the blood was still managing to flow through the clot. My INR had gotten low while I was traveling and had probably been non-therapeutic for two weeks. Maybe enough time to form and throw a clot, but it didn’t make sense because it would be traveling the other direction in my system. They also noted stenosis in a vertebral artery. Most likely unrelated? How could I still be clotting after 10 years of being on an anti-coagulant. I confess, I am scared.

A lot of other health signs and symptoms I have had over the past decade have made me wonder if it isn’t something more, or different, causing the clots. I have dealt with shingles, joint pain, fatigue, alopecea areata, asthma, allergies, swelling in my face and hands, Rosacia and strokes with this blood clotting issue. I personally think it’s something systemic with my auto-immune system. But I’m not a doctor. And they don’t seem to like it when I look up my symptoms and play doctor. But hey, I am an intelligent woman and a counselor. I love research and getting down to the bottom of things. I am also a “need to know” kind of person. If  I know what I am dealing with, I can some how “control” it and figure out how to manage it better. Ha! God has reminded me, I am human and He is God.

But here’s the thing: as I go through all the questions “why” again, after so many years on the warfarin and start to see the specialists again: neurologist, hematologist, etc., I find myself being obsessed with chasing down the answers. I don’t have the answers. I want the answers. I am tired of dealing with this “unknown” in my life. I have music to share and my stories. I have been dealing with the unknowns fairly well with my music ministry and enjoying the great adventure of the unknown of where God is taking me with it, but it is very hard for me to consider this unknown, when my physical body and health are under attack. To call it a great adventure? I don’t know, maybe in time I will? Certainly, I am assured of where my adventure ends and that will be a glorious day. But until then? Quite possibly, this is another story I take with me to my concerts.

I’ve had to adjust my life to a chronic blood clotting disorder, most the time taking it for granted, because I’ve had it for so long and have just adapted to the daily routine. But now, once again I am very much aware of how vulnerable I am, and how fragile life is. I can get blood clots even while on my anti-coagulant. That is NOT a comforting thought to me. I am going to have to make more adjustments in my life that will be “inconvenient”.

I’ve always known that at any point God could require my life. Every breath I take has always been a gift from Him while on this earth. I’ve known this ever since I born pre-mature at 29 weeks gestation. I stopped breathing and was down to 2 lbs 12 oz and turning blue. My doctor resuscitated me and I know it was the breath of God that he breathed back into me. I am here for His purpose and His pleasure. So I know that at any moment, He could take that breath away. Or, I could live with a paralysis or be incapacitated somewhere in my body, stroke-related, and be unable to do the things I enjoy doing right now: singing, speaking, playing piano, hugging, walking, driving, feeding myself, putting clothes on, thinking clearly…the list could be unending. I think too much.

Testing continues. Next, rare blood tests, CT scan with contrast of my body from chest to pelvis. Looking for clots or something else. “Don’t freak that you are seeing a Hematologist that also carries the title of Oncologist”. Still chasing the answers. But today’s answer is “not yet”. I think, today, I will reflect on His goodness instead. Because it’s the one thing I do have control over, and putting one step in front of the other. I need Him, every hour, every day.

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Olympic National Park

“Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22, ESV

So I think I will call this blog “Part I” and make it an ongoing series until I have the answers (or am content to leave things unanswered). Anyone relate or care to join me in this journey?

I wrote a song on my new album I just released that applies to this so well. I wrote it in regards to following the path of “unknowns” as a believer. Maybe this will resonate in your heart as it does in mine.

May God bless you, be with you, and comfort you in your “in-betweens”.

“You will meet me in the in-between
Where I’m not sure of many things
But your love and your grace
And how they carry me to this place.

You will meet me in the in-between
Where yesterday and tomorrow meet
Oh speak to me, speak to me, You speak to me
In the in-between.”

Continue on to Chasing Answers – Part II…

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Released my new music video today with Creative Soul Records for Deep Into You. It was a fun and mellow acoustic set with Dave Cleveland and Mark Burchfield at Mark’s Watershed Recording Studio, Nashville, TN. I was so honored to have the two of them play for me. Dave was instrumental (ha, no pun intended) in pulling the whole thing off! Thanks Dave! This is the first video of a series of 3. Two more will be released in the near future! 😉

Read the story behind the song at: Behind The Songs – Deep Into You

Blessings & Enjoy!

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Gazettephoto 2editMy local newspaper did such a nice job today with a write up on me and my new album Where I Am, Creative Soul Records and the upcoming release concert. Thank you Staff Writer, Matthew Nash and Editor, Mike Dashiell!

If you live locally, I am personally inviting you to the concert THIS Friday night @7 p.m. Sequim Community Church, 950 N. Sequim Ave, Sequim, WA. I will be backed by an awesome band from my local community (Jonathan Simonson, Dillan Witherow, Jason Taylor, Steven Mangiemeli, Kirk Thomas & Mike Madison) and we are featuring another fellow singer-songwriter, Tom Taylor as our opening act. Jeremy Cays of Jeremy Cays Productions has been organizing and producing the release concert for me.

For All The Ways is a song I wrote in memory of Christina Nevill and her battle with brain tumors, and in dedication to her husband Doug & baby Isaiah. I will be performing it on Friday night.

Christina Ahmann Nevill Blog: http://www.christinaahmann.com/
JoDee Ahmann Blog: http://jodeeahmann.blogspot.com/

The album can be purchased through links here on my website: http://www.JenHaugland.com/store

See you at the concert and enjoy the new album!

Love, Jen